If you know what's good for you, you just won't ask

Reasons to get excited:
-Started losing weight (for those of you who don't know, that is common just before you go into labor. There's less amniotic fluid in there and everything is shrinking up to get the baby out. It's the equivalent of the party host starting to clean up the party and turn the lights on. Means it's time to think about getting going)
-Have been told by both the chiropractor as well as midwifery nurse that they could tell the baby was "very low"
-Lots of dull achey contractions

Reasons I am getting increasingly crabby:
-Lots of dull achey contractions
-Generally BORED
-I hate going to bed/am happy when the alarm goes off in the morning because I HATE laying in bed
-Knew I'd be setting myself up for disappointment by starting checking progress 2 weeks ago. Have made no progress in the last week.
-Everyone--even people who aren't pregnant yet--will have their babies before me.

So the long and short of it is that everyone is unallowed to ask me: If I'm ready, When I'm going to pop, If it's hot enough for me, If I'm excited, If I'm nervous, If I'm counting down, and especially...When is it going to happen. If you speak with me about labor, pregnacy, and motherhood in general I will most likely scowl at you, quickly change the topic, or just mumble and look down at my shoes. You've been warned.

My midwife last week told me I need to take up a project. I got some fluffy books to read the other day (hey hey Candace Bushnell novels!), but I think I need something a little more involved than that. At the last art vs craft fair I bought a few of the Sublime Stitching patterns (http://www.sublimestitching.com) and haven't used them yet. I'm getting out of work a little early today and will hit up Michaels crafts for some embroidery thread and an embroidery hoop. I'm going to hole myself in my bedroom with air conditioning and cable tv for the rest of the afternoon and make roller derby-themed tea towels and onesies. I kind of want to learn some more involved crochet stitches or learn how to knit, but both of those require someone physically showing me. Cousin Becky: If you're reading this within a day or two of me posting this entry, I highly reccomend you stop everything that you're doing, drive down to Milwaukee within the next few days and teach me how to knit.

trapped in the elevator!

i've been taking the elevator at work a lot in the last few weeks. we only have 2 stories in our building, but it's just been easier for me to do the lift instead of hiking up and down. well, today, on my way back from lunch, the lights in the elevator flickered just as i had reached the 2nd floor and i heard a noise that sounded like all the power just went out. you know...like...BWWWWWOOOOOooooooo.... (I believe that would be the phonetic representation of the power shutting off.) After a few seconds in the dark, the overhead lights came on, but the buttons for the floors weren't lit up. Dispatch for the Housing Authority and Public Safety is located in the building, so when pressed the call button for help I knew they'd be right there. Which they were. And the irony and seriousness of the only person to ever get stuck in that elevator to be pregnant old me didn't escape our public safety team. They had a special key that they used to open the doors and pryed them open manually. The car was right at the floor, so all I had to do was step out when the doors were open. This whole process took 5-10 minutes. Nothing too big. But did I also mention I'm claustrophobic? Because I am. So it was all I could do to not have a panic attack, to keep my breathing steady, and to not visualize the elevator car plummeting down the shaft. But I did it. I kept my cool. And I started sweating like a whore in church when I got out. I think the adrenaline has finally evened out and I have a good story to tell.

I'm really glad I read that blurb in one of my pregnancy books on how to deliver your own baby! No one's ever gonna make fun of me for needing to feel prepared ever again!

one more thing

I know I've made mention of this blog before, but I oh so love the woman who writes Baby on Bored. Please read her post, "Lest you find my blog a total downer" posted August 16th. And come closer to understanding me. I just read this and decided that she has wrapped up my feelings of being pregnant and pregnant ladies in a much more witty and concise way than I ever could. Enjoy, kitties....



(Okay, for some reason, the link isn't working or showing up properly. Go to www.babyonbored.blogspot.com and be amazed. Or annoyed. I don't care which!)

1 cm

Not bad. I actually wasn't expecting any progress with dialation at all. I still think that I will have her before September 6th, but I know I'll get through this week no problem and be able to go to my last baby shower and class reunion on Saturday. It even looks like I may make it through most of my last week of work next week. I predict things are going to get dicey for me by the end of the week next week. I'm making steady, but not super fast progress.

My midwife suggested I take up a project these last weeks. Otherwise, I'll go crazy apparently. She, like most people, seemed surprised that we are all ready. Baby's room is done, etc. I think I'm over any sort of magic or touchy-feely discussion of baby feelings. Not only to I inwardly shudder with annoyance when people ask me with a gleam in their eye, "OH BOY! AREN'T YOU GETTING EXCITED?!?!?!?!", but I'm still not feeling that glowy earth mother feeling that apparently everyone is excited for me to feel. I just want to not be pregnant anymore. And I miss my old clothes. That's really about as magic as I'm getting.

I also just learned that we are having a one day complete power outage at work next Tuesday while they do something with a transformer or something. No computers, no phones. So it sounds like I just may be having a short week next week!

And I think my clothes smell like cat pee today, but I can't figure out which article of clothing is the offender.

Physical Updates:
-38 weeks on Thursday
-Been using evening primrose oil and pressure points all week
-Hips and lower back VERY achey and sore
-Lots of dull pain in my abdomen
-Lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions
-Baby has somehow dropped even lower. I find it hard to sit on a chair with one leg crossed over the other because the baby is right there. Also, sitting cross-legged on the floor in general seems to be difficult.

Next doctor's appointment is tomorrow. I'm hoping to hear the magic "D" word, but will settle for mostly effaced. Anything less will likely leave me in tears until about Thursday or so.

In other news, I've had two coworkers see me in my car and exclaim with surprise, "You have a carseat!" To which I've replied, "Yes. I am having a baby. State law maintains that I need one." I also have been generally avoiding any possibilities of small talk with coworkers....as I hate small talk anyway and I especially hate small talk related to me having a baby. The most dreaded and banal, yet frequent, ones I hear multiple times throughout the day are,
-So, you starting to count down?
-So, you starting to get excited?
-So, you starting to get nervous?
(And the mother of all terrible and annoying things to say....)
-I hope you're catching up on your sleep now! Did you know that you're not going to get much of it once the BABY comes?!?!

arg.

The next few weeks have just gotten somehow more intense. Someone very close to Nic passed away this weekend. He was the father of two of Nic's closest friends, and was also one of the closest individuals to a father to Nic. As much as I want this baby to come out this week, I am hoping that her timing lets Nic spend time with everyone he needs to spend time with this week and that it doesn't interfere with the memorial services. It's almost unreal to experience so many life-changing events one on top of the other. Needless to say, we have been and will continue to take everything not only day by day, but hour by hour.

I've also finally.....turned in my thesis edits. I'm not entirely proud of the finished product. It might be because I'm still tired of thinking about the paper. And there is a very real chance that the head of the thesis committee might make reject my edits and make me re-re-submit my paper after more work. Admittedly, I probably didn't do a very dynamic edit. I know there are still things that needed to be addressed in the paper, but chose to turn it in anyway. I don't like feeling like I took the easy way out, but I need to get the paper in and done. I am indeed hoping to go back to grad school in a few years, but for a program that does NOT have a thesis requirement. Also, I probably never do a PhD after this experience. Things like useless trivia has riddled my brain and has made it impossible for me to ever write a dissertation. Anyway, hope you had a nice weekend, gentle reader(s). Here's hoping for dilation!

this has nothing to do with my uterus

i never said i was perfect. i will be the first to point out my deficiencies. maybe it's my midwestern humility. maybe i delight in the irony of my taste. no matter what the preferred explanation, i am going to tell you something now. and you will still respect me for it.

that said, i have become immediately obsessed with mtv's 'the hills.' somehow, it's a more guilty pleasure than 'my super sweet 16.' but i can't explain why. i've always prided myself on being able to withstand the addictions of certain swells of pop culture, while being a complete sucker for others. for example, there is some song in heavy rotation on the top 40/hip hop/pop station that a few people in the last week have asked me if i have heard yet. something about lip gloss. while i tell them that i haven't, i think smugly to myself that i only listen to npr, wmse, and radio milwaukee...nonprofit radio only of late. then i turn around and obsess over televisionwithoutpity.com's discussion boards of 'the hills.' i will judge you for your bad taste one minute, then ask you for forgiveness for my own faults. so it goes, i guess.

while we're on the topic, i've also become a tori spelling fan. in general. couldn't care less about her until she had a show on one of the lady channels. she and her husband bought and renovated a bed and breakfast in northern california while she was in her third trimester. the first season of this show was running when nic was in high gear working on our upstairs bedroom. have i mentioned all this in a previous post? let's just pretend i haven't. tori was pregnant. i am pregnant. tori and dean were trying to do renovations before the baby was born, WE were trying to finish our renovations before the baby is born. tori likes pugs. i like pugs. the gays love tori. the gays love me. i got hooked. season 2 starts soon.

nic and i went out for dinner the other night and ran into a couple that was in our bradley method class with their new baby. they recently bought a house not too far from us. it was good to see them, especially because it's proof that if she could one day not be pregnant anymore and be able to enjoy all you can eat tacos and beer, then i will be able to do all those things too!

i'm proud of how relaxed i am right now. i might not seem relaxed, but if you know me even a little bit you would probably use the words "high strung, " "neurotic," "senseless worrier," etc. to describe me. anyway, i've been pretty even-keeled as my due date gets closer. a big part of that is getting big stuff done around the house and minimizing and temporarily phasing out all my other responsibilities. it's nice to know that i could go into labor tomorrow and not feel like i'm leaving tons of loose ends.

speaking of going into labor tomorrow, wouldn't that be great? i think so. i'm thinking that i'll go during the last week in august sometime. i don't think i'll make it to september 6th. i'd like to go into labor next week since it seems like it would be a good time to go....but i have a feeling i'll hold on until the last week of the month.

been feeling ok. considering. i ended up staying home half the day on tuesday. i was so weak and tired...and it was pretty humid that day. this week the weather has been really comfortable, but i know it's going to get hot again next week.

we started with the evening primrose oil and i made a big pitcher of iced red raspberry leaf tea last night. i wanted to take the dog out on a walk last night, but i've reached the point where i can't bend over, so picking up dog poop is out of the question.

i really don't have too much more news for you. probably won't until next tuesday's midwife appointment!

we may be good looking, but we can't count

so, nic and i were a little off in figuring out how many weeks along we were. no matter what, the sept. 6th due date stays static, but for some reason we grossly misjudge if that means we're 33 or 38 or whatever weeks. about a month ago we were shocked to find out we were at 33 weeks....now we were convinced we were starting our 38th week when this thursday will mark our 37th. none of this really matters anyway. we found out today that i've started to efface a little bit and we got some great pictures of nic finding the heart tones in the doctor's office. evening primrose oil starts tonight and i think i've officially begun the maddening habit of desperately searching for new signs that labor is coming. things slowing down at work hasn't helped because now i have time throughout the day to think too much about each braxton-hicks contraction. i think i'm going to be thinking about this more obsessively at work since i've tempered down many of my responsibilities here and if i were home, i'd have cleaning and organizing to obsess over!

the baby has dropped. i have an appetite again and i don't feel like i'm breathing through a straw for most of the day. though, even just looking at a glass of water sends me to the bathroom about 16 times a day. most of the time for unproductive trips, might i add.

i got a big whif of nesting instict yesterday. before sunday brunch, i just wanted to clean and organize the kitchen and dining room in the worst way. and i was the one who needed to do it. however, when i got that surge we were on the way out the door to walk to hi fi for brunch. a walk there and back in the hot sun and a big breakfast burrito totally took the wind out of my sails. we spent the rest of the afternoon laying in the air conditioning watching the brewers game. the kitchen did get cleaned once we got home from sunday dinner and as long as it's not too hot after work tonight, i forsee having the energy to get even more done.

so, gentle reader(s), dare you venture a guess as to when she'll be born? i already have one person at work who has guessed not only a day, but she is guessing the weight/size as well. i have nothing to offer the winner of anyone who guesses correctly other than a high five. but i fully endorse gambling when it comes to guessing my delivery date.

yep. it's official. i'm officially ready to be done. so, uh, any day now. come on, baby! any day now....you ready? because i'm ready. so, uh, just come on out! you seem to be in the right position. we have crib sheets for you now. so, just slide right on out! that's right! you don't even have to take your time. just, uh, make your appearance. work stuff is wrapped up enough and we have enough done at home. plus, you have lots of clothes to wear. i would think that a newly remodeled bedroom and a new wardrobe would be enough to get you to want to come out. plus, we even have a dog to bark at you and cats to pee on your stuff. it's not as bad as it sounds. you can totally pee on the cats if you want to. see, a new bedroom....new clothes...and permission to pee on stuff. what else is there? nothing.

A rough night of sleep and a hot and humid day and I'm wiped out.

Plus, I've been getting dizzy spells midday. I think it's because when I am done metabolizing breakfast, I am DONE and need food immediately. Gotta keep snacks in my purse, otherwise I risk passing out.

My ankles are swollen now, one moreso than the other. The baby moves constantly throughout the day and all I ever want to do is just rest.

ONE MONTH TO GO

Today is August 6th. My due date is September 6th. My goal is to post here at least once/day until she's born since I've been so terrible in keeping up with this blog throughout the pregnancy!

I saw a chiropractor for the first time on Saturday. I was always a little hesitant about the whole chiropractic thing. But now that my back and hips are getting all out of whack, I figure it's worth a shot. Plus, she specializes in prenatal care and she went to my high school. So far, I'm pleased!

We now have a 98% completed bamboo floor in the baby's room. Nic totally rocked the flooring. He had such great practice doing our bedroom that it was no problem for him to whip through the baby's room. Cheri and TJ dropped off the crib yesterday and Mo and Nona helped Nic set up the crib while they were there. (Note to all mentioned parties: Thank you so much! The crib is great! And Mo, we promise we'll stop putting you to work at our house.) We washed all the clothes and blankets we've received as presents yesterday in Target brand baby detergent. The room just smells like baby too. And so do I. I've started using one of the bottles of Johnson's Baby Lotion we received as a present. I read somewhere that this is one of the ways to get your pets adjusted to the baby--through the smell. I've also seen a special CD on the internet of a baby crying to play for your pets. Seeings that that sounds pretty annoying, I'm just using the smells-method. So now we have a nursery and a place to put baby stuff.

That's all I got for today. It's going to be a week of high humidity and muggy heat. Expect a litany of crabby posts.

0 to crabby in 60 seconds

I'm in a terrible mood today. I must have been soundly sleeping for the better half of the night on my right side, because an excruciating pain woke me up around 5:30 in my right hip. I still haven't mastered the side-lay position where one knee is jutted out a bit further from the other to staggar the hips. Most of my side sleeping is done straight on my side. A combination of a full sized bed and 54 pillows of every shape and size to conform under and around my sore body makes it difficult to take up a such sleeping position. But I digress. I woke up with this pain...no, with a PAIN in my hip.

And my left shoulder was hurting from the little bit of sleeping that got done on the left side. And my stomach is too heavy for back sleeping.
And the graphing calculator and engineering degree needed to arrange said pillows for the possiblity of stomach sleeping was out of my reach at 5:30 this morning.

So after a frustrated hissy fit, some absolute moaning, realization that I couldn't even sit up in bed because that put pressure on my hip, and a failed attempt to sit up with Nic and lay/lean against him, I just got up. I showered and came into work an hour early. I'll probably duck out a bit early. And I've scheduled a massage for myself tonight and I'm meeting with a chiropractor tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll sleep well this weekend.

Oh, and all of this along with too much caffeine this morning has left me very crabby today. I'm glad it's a quiet day.

so busy!

The countdown is on. Today is August 2nd. I'm due September 6th...if I can hold out that long. If the restless nights get worse and worse by the end of the month, I'm gonna slam a glass of midwife recommended castor oil screwdriver. That's right. Castor oil, vodka, and OJ. Likely I'll wait until I'm done with scheduled work shifts before trying that method, though.

So the pressure is on to get a lot done in the next month. I say "a lot" instead of everything....because I know EVERYTHING I want to get done just won't. However, we're making good progress. We've set the ball in motion to refinance the house. Our renovations added a ton of equity on the house. That, along with some other small financial decisions and adjustments will hopefully make our money-related dealings slightly easier. The floor should be laid in the baby's room after this weekend and I'm guessing we'll be doing the bulk of the set-up work in the room next week. I don't think any of this will feel real until there is a crib and a dresser with onesies in it, rather than a sunroom filled with gift bags and boxes.

Speaking of our sunroom, we're gonna be able to get rid of a lot of crap in our sunroom as well! If you are in the market for a full sized mattress and two full sized box springs that are all ripped apart by cat claws, and have likely all been peed on by one or more of four cats....then stop by our house before the garbage comes next Tusday morning. They're yours for free! Did I mention the mattress is so lumpy and old that you will likely have back pain? Come and get it! Also in the mix is the papazan chair I told my friend I'd take off her hands, but I realized it's just another thing for the cats to pee on/shed on in the sunroom. Getting. Rid. Hopefully, we'll be making one or two HUGE trips to Goodwill to get rid of boxes and boxes of my clothes and shoes that have remained packed since last move. I feel lighter just thinking of it all!

I'm hoping to assemble all the items in my overnight bag for the hospital over the next week or so. Clothes, comfort items, a few vials of assorted essential oils for various things, print ups of the birth plan, etc. And I'm off to pick up an infant car seat/stroller combo from my friend Maren soon. Other than doing our best to keep up with chores, those are all the major things I wanted to get done before the baby comes. I've already started lightening my responsibilities at work....so I'm actually feeling somewhat ready.

As for physical updates...nothing too major to report. Belly button is still an innie. Baby hasn't dropped yet (though my appetite is starting to increase....I'm still getting the reflux and the shortness of breath). Have felt a Braxton Hicks contraction here and there over the last few months, but I'm certainly not feeling/noticing any now. The Snoogle body pillow, otherwise known as the best idea EVER, has been a godsend to sleep with. However I did have a rough night with it last night. I'm finding that if I don't get a brief walk in at some point, it's harder and more uncomfortable to fall asleep at night.

Hmmmmm....think that's it for the day. I could go on, as you well know. But I think I'll stop there. And daydream about the frozen chocolate dipped bananas in my freezer at home....sigh...