Engaged...all the details you wanted to know

So we went to Chicago this weekend on a vacation/birthday/valentines day. It was a fantastic trip. We had good food, got to visit with some friends, had a great trip to the Science and Industry museum and the requisite trip to Ikea.

And I got engaged.

It happened at the Science Museum. We were walking through a maze of mirrors in one of the exhibits when Nic got this look in his eye, grabbed my hand, and pointed out the images of both of us going on forever in the mirror in front and behind us. He says incredibly sweet things all the time, so I didn't think he was actually proposing. He then said, "I want you to be my wife." I said "Is this my proposal?" He took a ring out of his pocket and put it on my finger. I smiled and said "Yes." We kissed. Then we heard people coming through the maze, so we kept going. And giggled and smiled our way through the museum for the rest of the day. Even though we had thoroughly discussed getting married, I had told him that nothing was a go until I had a proper proposal and he received an official answer. So now it's all official.

The ring is a big purple amethyst affair. It's my birthstone, and it's a very fun piece of jewelry that Nic picked out himself. I have been pretty clear from the beginning that I did not want a diamond engagement ring. And I don't envision wanting diamonds on my wedding ring.

Gasp! No diamonds? Why not? That's crazy. You're just being contrary, etc......

Okay. I'll lay it all out here. The reasons why I'm not too keen on diamonds for me. Did you hear that? I'm not keen on diamonds FOR ME. My choice to not have diamond jewelry by no means transfers over to you or your choices, gentle reader. You like diamonds? Great. Get 'em. Get as many as you can get your hands on. Got a big one? Then I'm happy for you. But my choice is to avoid them. And to not get preachy about it. So here goes.

1. International Human Rights
Okay. Plainly put, mining and trading diamonds fuels the actions of guerrilla warfare in Angola, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and Sierra Leone. Money from the trade of diamonds fuels violent and bloody internal warfare in these countries. There has been a lot of progress in socially responsible diamond mining and trading. You can indeed purchase a "Conflict Free" diamond. There are also huge diamond reserves in Australia, Canada, and Russia. However, there is actually no guarantee that the diamond you're purchasing did not support abhorrent acts against humanity. For this reason, I choose not to have a diamond.

2. A Diamond is Forever?
In 1948, the N.W. Ayer advertising agency came up with the phrase "A Diamond is Forever." At this point, the De Beers company controlled most of the world's diamond trade. Harry Oppenheimer, CEO of De Beers, wanted everyone in America to connect the idea of romance with diamonds so he used that great marketing phrase that is still used today. Pretty brilliant, I'd say. People like diamonds for wedding jewelry because a "Diamond is Forever." Not bad. However, the symbol of the everlasting diamond becomes less desirable for me knowing that it was all due to a (very successful) advertising agency. For this reason also, I choose not to have a diamond.

3. A diamond is expensive because they are so rare.
Yeah. No, no they're not. They are expensive to mine, true. However, the inflated prices of diamonds do not match their supply. There are other gemstones that are truly much more rare. For this reason also, I choose not to have a diamond.

So there you have it. In a nutshell. The very basic, boiled down reasons I don't want a diamond. If you want more information on any of this (or proof because you think I'm a whiney liberal wackjob) you don't have to look too far for information. Amnesty International's website is a great place to start.

Again, this is how I feel about the piece of jewelry that will be symbolic of my relationship to my future husband. I certainly understand the appeal of diamonds. They're sparkly. I also appreciate the want to do something just because it's what everyone else does. I'm not immune to that. But my choice is a wedding and engagement ring that has meaning to me and Nic and it doesn't matter one shake to me if it has meaning to you.

Does this mean I'm always going to feel this way? No. Maybe as I grow older, or politics change, I'll change my mind. Until then, it's a big ol' amethyst engagement ring on my finger! And I love it.